Since I was old enough to decide this, I chose love. I don’t know if it was Bollywood or the surroundings. I thought everything began and ended with it.

As I grew older I got introduced to new concepts, like having a successful career, being rich, etc. They appealed to me too. They sounded like practical things to concentrate and focus your life on.

After a few years, I began to understand religion and some of the concepts that went with it, especially the Indian society and how it works. It never sounded right to me, but that might be because I never had an extreme orthodox environment around me.

Then I thought a mixture of the three would lead one to a happy life. However before we go into that, let us go to the crux of this dilemma.

What are we doing here?

The answer to that question would be different for different people. Some are here to live their choices, see where it takes them.

Many are here to leave a mark, do something no one will forget, make sure everyone remembers them when they are gone. Moreover many are here to make sure they are appreciated, accepted and loved by the people around them. There is a subtle difference between the two.

Those who are more career-oriented tend to focus on education, good marks and money. They want to be remembered for their achievements.

The ones who are concerned about the society are more focused on what the people think of them. Whether their actions or inactions defy the social norms? Will it affect the “social standing” of their parents, their family or themselves?

All three give you happiness. All three can be a good path. In a utopian world, you would have all three.

But in the dimension we live in, we have to choose.

And so we decide our mix of the potion. Many go for career and society first and keep love for later. Some go for society only. A very few go for only career. And rarely I find people going just for love.

But why is that?

Isn’t leading a happy life an achievement? Just because it cannot be quantified doesn’t make it a less of a feat. Doesn’t love require more sacrifices? Is being the richest or the smartest or the most glamorous more demanding than leading a happy life?

And the society isn’t always right. We all know that. After all it is made up of people like us, who are still improving, still learning. Then why do we seek their approval, if we are sure what we are doing isn’t wrong? Is being accepted by all the ultimate achievement?

When I hear people say, “I want to do something in life”, they are talking about achievements, excelling at something, doing something no one has before or maybe proving that they can do something too. But why is that? Is that any different from getting provoked into taking an action?

Also, what are the odds of being the best in the field? I mean, what are the odds that your name goes down in the history books? I know you would respond by saying “Not worse than if I don’t try” and that is good spirit too. But what if you don’t succeed? Or more importantly – what if you do succeed?

When I hear them say, “’I am not living as my parents/the society expect me to”, they are talking about being accepted by the society, right? But does it really matter? If you know what you are doing is something right, even though it isn’t socially accepted, should you seek approval? After all, humans are creatures of habit. Talking about the result, being killed by a gun is not really different than being in an accident, result being death. But since accidents are a risk the society has accepted, being killed by a gun isn’t normal. This was an extreme example of course. Taking a more moderate and common one – For someone living in a religious environment, being happy by not marrying at all or being happy by marrying someone out of their caste/religion (Honour killings?) is no different than being happy in an arranged marriage. It is just that the latter is more socially acceptable in India. But that does not mean the other two are wrong. So, if the society is to improve, these acts of defiance are the way to move forward – Right?

Back to the original question, what should one choose to live – Love, Career or Religion?

Most of the people want to lead a happy life. The paths they choose is what they think would bring them happiness. The richest or the most accomplished man might not be the happiest. But being rich and accomplished is certainly a factor.

Similarly being accepted in society isn’t a guarantee that one would be happy. But it too is a factor.

So if we were to say that happiness or living a happy life is the goal, isn’t love a good path to choose? Sure, we cannot fully ignore the other two; they are a part of life too. But isn’t love the biggest factor in this equation, since ultimately all relate to it? Of course I am assuming that love would bring happiness. If it doesn’t, it isn’t love.

Everything written here is based on my experience and observation. And the former isn’t my strong suit. So, this article may evolve over time.

In any case, what is your opinion on it? What gets you high – Love, Career or Society?

And when you answer, remember – nobody’s judging you.